Not Without You
by Esther Clemmens
Summary: Oneshot! Six months after the Red Shield headquarters sank beneath the waves, Hagi and Saya are traveling through England and fighting chiropterans as they travel. Saya is still punishing herself because of her guilt over Riku's death. Rated T for bloodshed and dark situations.


**A/N Thanks to Natalie Dumas for creating this image for this story! It is so pretty!**

"HIIII-YAAAAHHH!"

The sound rang through the wooded area. They were somewhere in England heading Northeast. The sunset reflected off the trees in an orange and red glow. The grey forms of the lumbering chiropterans seemed out of place in the peaceful scenery, as did the woman clothed in a purple dress covered in scratches and blood from one of the three she'd already slain.

A black figure seemed to fall from the sky at the same time as a large, black case bashed the side of the grey monster's head. He immediately continued the onslaught with a red and black scaled claw that ripped and shredded the beast in front of him. His blue eyes continued to follow the beast's every movement as he also watched the woman behind him.

She slashed her huge blade down and to the side. The monster hollered, but its body did not crystallize. She heard the man shout, "Not enough blood, Saya." But her stunned expression proved she didn't hear him. He was holding off the chiropteran as the one she hadn't killed charged her and swiped 4 huge gashes in her side.

"SAYA!" he shouted as he kicked the beast in front of him into a tree 100 yards from him, knocking it unconscious. He swiped the beast that had struck his queen with his razor sharp claws before grabbing her sword. He raced forward with a haze of rage as he thrust the sword through the chiropteran. The blade came out its back with a spray of blood and red crystals. Apparently Saya had reloaded the blade just before the beast swiped her. The spray landed on the man's body, coating his front with blood and red glittery crystals.

_Last night was his breaking point. She had refused to eat and refused to drink blood for the past month. She was fading before his very eyes- hell bent on punishing herself for not saving her beloved little brother. He was a chevalier, bound to her by blood. He had to obey her- no matter what the command. His primary objective, however, was her well-being. He must make certain that she lived to kill Diva so that he may fulfill the dreaded promise he made._

_While she slept, he sliced his palm and whispered, "I am sorry. I must do this, Saya. You must stay alive to fulfill your mission." He then sucked in a mouth and throat-full of his blood and force-fed her with a bloody kiss. Sitting back on his heels by the bed, he waited and then repeated the process three more times, making sure she had fallen into a deep sleep before he'd do it again. He couldn't let her die this way, he just couldn't._

_The stoic man never dared to dream of any alternate future than the ending of the war and the death of his queen by his own hand. It was certain that he would die shortly after- what was he without her? He watched her chest rise and fall with each of her deep breaths. Her eyes danced behind the lids in a tango of REM sleep. Her full pink lips parted and allowed small breaths to escape as her cheeks went from a pale grey to a rosy pink once again. Only when her hollow cheeks and emaciated body began to fill in a bit, did he stop force- feeding her and let out a barely audible sigh of relief._

He had been so caught up in tending to her already healing wound that he didn't sense the previously unconscious chiropteran come up behind him. The huge monster swiped him from the side, sending him into a nearby tree. One of the broken branches was just low enough that it penetrated his back and came out through his chest. He coughed a mouthful of blood as he heard Saya scream for him. His eyes shut and blackness consumed his thoughts. He had lost too much of the little blood he had left and lost consciousness.

Her eyes turned to the chiropteran in a glowing red rage. She seemed to fly around it in flashes of blue, striking all sides at once. She gave out a loud war cry, making the entire forest shudder in fear. She struck again, bringing the blade down from the top of its head straight down. This time her thumb found the sharp place near the hilt, releasing her poisonous blood into the channels and grooves in the blade. The beast's expression contorted as the toxic blood mingled with its own. Her blade continued through the monster, slicing it in half from the top to the bottom.

Red crystals and blood sprayed her face and a few trees surrounding her. She wiped her sleeve over her face, smearing a mask of pink amid the red. She stood over the remains with the end of her katana stuck in the ground as she leaned for support. Her eyes turned to her faithful companion. She was at his side in a second as the katana fell to the ground.

He was unconscious and limply hanging from the tree. He had lost too much blood. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out what to do. She was too weak from the lack of blood to feed him. "Hagi," she whimpered, "what do I do?"

Her eyes scanned her surroundings for anything. She knew that even if she found a human or animal, she would never be able to stomach killing it, even if it was to save his life. A small cottage sat near the edge of the woods. The tree that grew through one of the widows and the overly tall grass that surrounded it let her know it was abandoned.

It felt like an eternity that she dragged the man to the cottage. She didn't have the strength to carry him the way he carried her. She felt like kicking herself- it was her fault they were in this situation in the first place. It was true that she was livid when she awoke this morning with the taste of his blood in her mouth. He wouldn't have been so weak if he didn't need to force-feed her. If only she would have at _least_ eaten something.

It was a lucky thing she found the cottage. Though the place was small, it was heaven compared to trying to dress his wounds and clean him up out in the open. There was a bed she dragged from the bedroom into the living room and pulled him into the dusty old bed. There were a few old linens in the room so she could use one to rip apart and use for dressings and the other would help keep him warm. She made a fire in the old, dusty stone hearth, boiling some water to clean the ragged pieces she tore. Her hands opened the buttons of his jacket and shirt, pulling them open and carefully removing them.

The slashes weren't closing up and the wound through his back and chest leaked blood. She did her best to cover the wounds and clean him up, but he wouldn't heal without blood. She searched the kitchen and found a few dishes and cups. Taking a cup, she cleaned it out before she cut her palm and let her own blood fill the small cup. It was all she could give in her weakened state.

He still remained unconscious after the cup was drained, but his body temperature was rising in a fever- he needed more, much more. She smoothed his long hair from his alabaster face, he was more pale than usual. Again she muttered, "What do I do?" Her voice seemed so small as it echoed in the dusty room. She sat up suddenly as she remembered there was a city nearby and cities meant hospitals- units of blood were found in hospitals. Saya knew she couldn't just walk into a hospital and ask for blood, they'd think she was crazy and Hagi would die while she was carted off to jail.

"Well, I can't just sit here and let you die when there's a chance I can save you," Saya reasoned as she looked at her chevalier. She hurried back into the woods and found the cello case. Hagi was a resourceful man indeed. The cello case had secret compartments that held a change of clothes for each of them, her katana, extra daggers, and who knows what else. She'd never explored it completely, but now seemed like a great time to start. She discovered there was a bit of money in there along with her clothes, a few notes in French and English. She let out a curse for not being able to read either language, but now was not the time.

It took a great deal of strength, but Saya was able to heft the strap over her shoulder and carry it back to the cottage. The water was cold and slightly brown as it filled the tub, but Saya needed to clean herself up if she was going into the city. She shivered as she bathed quickly and dried herself. She threw her bloody dress and his shirt and jacket in the water to let them soak and hopefully get the blood out. The water looked dark pink as Saya dressed in the blue jeans and pink t-shirt from the cello case. The old mirror reflected the dusty image of a shaggy haired young woman as she ran a comb through her raven locks of hair.

"Hagi gave me a comb for my hair on my birthday," she mumbled as she remembered the small smile on his face as she seemed to prize the metal comb above all her other gifts. She wore it every day afterward- until she released Diva and in a fit of crying, she sliced her hair off with her own sword. Knowing her companion, he still had that comb somewhere. She felt a tear fall from her eye as she thought, _Why does he do such sentimental things? He rarely shows even a hint of emotion, but yet he would do something like that._

He may die. The thought brought on a loud sob. She took a deep breath and steeled her nerves- "No he won't! He _won't_ die, I'm not letting it happen!" She came to his side and whispered, "I will be back in a little while, Hagi. Don't worry, I'll be careful."

The city of Townbridge was not as large as she thought, thankfully. On her way there, a woman stopped and gave her a ride to the hospital. "So why are you heading to the hospital?" she asked slowly enough that Saya could understand.

Saya muttered her response as she kept her gaze on the scenery, "My friend is very sick and needs some medicine." She hated lying like this, but it was better than getting anyone else involved in this war.

The woman with the brownish blonde hair turned and informed, "I'm Jenna, what's your name?"

"Saya," she replied simply as her eyes never left the window.

"That's really pretty," she commented as she chatted away. Saya's mind stayed on her closest friend and chevalier, hoping he was okay.

When she arrived at the hospital, the doctors and nurses were rushing around frantically. There was a major accident around 8pm causing the small hospital to become a bit overwhelmed. A red haired woman came to the nurse's station and gave a sigh. Her badge was attached to her white jacket and it fluttered as she lifted her hand to her forehead. The rather angry looking nurse turned and commented, "Dr. Humphreys, you look like you're about to crash."

Saya wasn't fluent in English, but she understood most of what was said as the doctor replied, "I am. I'm going to room 21 to get some sleep now that Rogers is here to relieve me." She removed the white coat and placed it over the seat before heading to room 21 with a big yawn.

The nurse shook her head at the carelessness of the doctor as he grumbled, "You don't leave your coat just anywhere." She was about to grab the coat when a patient decided to become irate, causing all the nurses to rush in and subdue him.

Saya noticed her moment and snatched the coat. She hurried through the wide hall and began to look into the windows of each room. She nearly gasped when she ran into a nurse.

"Oh!" she gasped as she tried to compose herself. Her green eyes scanned the badge and spoke in English, "You're Dr. Humphreys." Her brows furrowed before she snapped her fingers and seemed to realize something. "You're the doctor from Bath. You needed some units of blood, right?"

The nurse was speaking so fast Saya could hardly keep up. She nodded, wide eyed and the nurse led her down the hall and to the left. She went into a room and returned shortly with a cooler with a bio hazard label. The nurse informed, "We could only spare 8 units. I hope that will hold you guys until you get some more donors. Maybe you should check Liverpool, they should have some to spare, but we just had a major accident here and it took a lot out of us."

Saya nodded and smiled, "Thank you." She carried the cooler by the nurse's station and thought, _Whew! That was really lucky! I wonder what Hagi will think of this story once he gets…_ She couldn't finish the thought, she just hoped he could get better.

"Excuse me," an angry voice said as Saya froze. Maybe she had celebrated her victory too soon. She slowly turned to face another angry nurse- thankfully not the one from before. "You forgot to sign for it," she informed as she tapped the form on the desk. Saya wasn't foolish enough to sign her own name, so she scribbled the first thing that came to her mind and dashed out the door.

Later that evening, when things calmed down at the hospital, the nurses went over the paperwork and were shocked at the signature of the "doctor". It was done in Japanese characters which no one in the hospital could read. Saya had written, "Let him live."

She was grateful Jenna had waited for her and took her back to the small road that led to the cottage. Jenna smiled and handed Saya a slip of paper with her phone number. "Just in case you need anymore help," she winked and added, "I hope your friend gets better."

Saya smiled her gratitude as she shut the car door and waved. She watched the tail lights disappear in the dark night. It was pitch black in the deserted area, but Saya could still see with her chiropteran sight. She could feel his heartbeat had weakened as she hurried to the small orange light in the clearing, knowing it was the light of the fire in the hearth shining through the window.

It had been 2 hours since she left and she couldn't seem to get back fast enough. The extra burden of the grocery bag in her right arm was a wonderful feeling. Jenna had been so sweet to give her a few groceries. Saya dropped the bag on the table and headed to the living room with the cooler as her stomach protested with a grumble.

Hagi was mumbling and thrashing in the bed, reopening his wounds. She found the glass and opened one of the units with her teeth. She poured the crimson life force into the cup, but he was thrashing around so much. His body was hot with a fever, too hot. He needed to feed right now. She straddled him and pinned his arms down with one hand. She carefully poured the contents of the cup into his mouth and waited while he swallowed. His body had stilled, but the fever was still there as she fed him 3 units of blood. She sat on her heels and hugged herself as she watched him sleep. She was about to begin feeding him another unit when he murmured something that stilled her.

**Hagi's dream**

_Saya and Diva slashed and dodged in a dance of death. Hagi looked on, knowing he could not interfere. Saya delivered the final blow and panted heavily as Diva shattered into glittery red shards before her eyes. _

_Those beautiful red orbs turned to him, pleading with him. He came to her side and went down to one knee. She commanded, "It's time to fulfill your promise, Hagi."_

_Every fiber of his being followed her request as his heart clenched and broke into a million pieces. Diva's sword dripped with her blood as Hagi wielded it against his queen. With one obedient swipe, Saya crumpled to the ground and Hagi watched as her body slowly crystallized before his eyes. "Thank you, Hagi," she smiled as her face cracked. Tears fell from his eyes and with a loud cry, he turned the handle of the sword to make the blade face him and he impaled himself on the blade. _

_He begged for merciful death- he couldn't live without her._

A single tear fell from his closed eyes and trailed down his alabaster face. His stoic expression was replaced by one of pain and sorrow. She had never seen the chevalier show any expression except a small smile a very long time ago. He began to murmur, "I can't do it. I can't… Saya… I can't because… because… I…"

She wondered what he was talking about. It troubled her that he looked so very sad. She brushed the back of her hand along his cheek as he seemed to lean into her touch and mumble incoherently. It was just the fever talking- at least that's what she thought as she refilled the cup and sat him up, feeding him slowly. He looked a lot better after he finished the fourth unit and she needed to eat something. She went through the groceries and found the pop top cans of soup and makings for sandwiches. At the bottom of the bag was a bottle of pain killers. Maybe it would help with the pain, but how would she get it in him? The idea was silly- Hagi had been through far worse injuries than this and never took anything. It was sweet Jenna to think of them, but Saya opened the can of soup and washed a bowl. She made a sandwich and placed the soup in a pot she cleaned out before she returned to the living room and placed it in the coals near the flames to warm up. She ate the sandwich slowly since her stomach was not used to solid food yet.

Hagi's fever was going down with the fresh blood coursing through his parched veins. Saya went through the bedroom and found two moth-eaten quilts, but it was better than nothing. She returned and placed one over her companion and left the other one at the end of the bed- just in case he needed it. She pulled the cooler next to the bed as she stirred the soup, noting it was hot enough to eat.

After she ate her soup, she returned to her patient. His wounds were closed now, leaving ugly purple bruises instead. A few more units will fade them as if they were never there. She removed the bloody bandages and laid him back down. His eyelids fluttered, but he remained unconscious.

Afterward, she drained the tub and rinsed their clothes several times before she hung them on chairs in the dining room to dry. With everything done, she returned to her chevalier. It would be easier to feed him if she was holding him. She sighed, "He'd do it for me," as she climbed into the bed and pulled him against her chest.

As she fed him the blood she wondered at what she had recently learned from Joel's diary. _Hagi was brought to the Zoo for the sole purpose of becoming Saya's mate._ She had become very uncomfortable around him since discovering this, but she wondered if the unconscious man even knew himself.

It took her a moment to gather the will power to look at him. He wasn't bad looking, as a matter of fact, he was truly handsome- almost too handsome. If circumstances were different, she might even consider… No, this is a war and thoughts like that have no place here.

Her mind wouldn't leave that train of thought. She suddenly wondered, _What if he only thinks of me as his queen and nothing more. What if he had his heart set on someone before I gave him my blood. That would be terrible! I would have stolen him from her._ She had to stop this train of thought. Hagi never left her side when they lived at the Zoo- he never showed an interest in any woman at the Zoo or anywhere else for that matter.

_But I did steal his chance to have a wife and family of his own. The chance to watch his children grow up, play with his grandchildren, to die peacefully in his bed without being dragged into this seemingly eternal war._

She smoothed his hair from his face and spoke to him gently, "I have been unfair to you, Hagi. You had a life and a future that was all yours, but I have robbed you of that. I am so sorry. I can't begin to say how much, but I need you. I need you to stay with me and continue to fight in this war because… because I can't do it without you." By now tears were streaking her cheeks and she gave a small sob before she continued, "I'm sure by now, you're sick of this war and my memory loss and my stupid long sleeps, but I promise you that we will end it this time. Just please fight by my side- one more time. And then you can fulfill your promise to me. And then, you can restart your life. Maybe you'll find someone to love you that you can love back. Maybe you could have a family of your own. I know you can't do that with the responsibility of following me everywhere." She leaned down and whispered in his ear, "So, please stay with me and continue to fight." She cried herself to sleep while his head was pressed to her chest.

Sunlight filtered through the dirty window onto the faces of the man and woman in the bed. His blue eyes opened and he scanned his surroundings. They opened wider with surprise as he realized he was lying in a bed with his head against Saya's chest. Where was his shirt and jacket? He recalled he was badly injured in a fight. Saya must have cared for him. His eyes found the bio hazard marked cooler and looked inside. 5 empty pouches and 3 full ones. His eyes searched the room, wondering if the Red Shield was around, but he didn't sense anyone but himself and Saya. Where did the cooler come from?

He felt thirst burning his throat as his vision was shaded with a red haze. He quickly grabbed the cooler and dashed to the next room, he didn't like to feed in front of Saya. She rejected her chiropteran side and he felt she may reject him for being the thing that she wanted to eliminate from herself.

Saya awoke to find that he was already up and out of the room. She headed to the restroom and nearly ran into him as she came back out. They stared at each other for a minute before she turned away. He cleared his throat and said, "Thank you for taking care of me last night."

She looked up into his eyes and responded, "No problem." She turned away to hide the blush that came to her cheeks and wondered why she was blushing.

He took her blush as embarrassment for his lack of clothing. He caught the sight of his shirt and jacket hanging on the chairs in the kitchen. He excused himself and grabbed his clothes before he headed to the bathroom to dress.

They were on their way, once again. Saya walked ahead as Hagi turned his gaze to the roses blooming near the road. He resisted the urge to pull out one of his daggers and cut one for her. What would she do with it right now- besides, these roses were red and he always gave her pink ones. He didn't notice Saya had turned and saw his gaze soften as he looked at the roses.

He was startled when she spoke. "I used to be so mean to you. All I ever did was complain when you first came to the Zoo. I remember I made you go out in the pouring rain to get me a rose, but you never complained. You'd just dry off and change, bringing me the rose with so much effort and I never said, 'Thank you.'

She was so close to him now. He was startled as she embraced him and said, "Thank you, Hagi. Thanks for being there for me and staying by my side. Thank you for protecting me even when it hurt you."

He wasn't sure what to do. He patted her shoulder and responded, "I will always be there for you, Saya." He was reminded of the time she embraced him when he was young. He recalled the reflection in the mirror accented by a single pink rose in a bud vase. Now she embraced him in front of several hundred red roses. He held back the urge to sigh as he embraced her. It may be wrong of him to take this moment of bliss for himself, but he didn't care. For once, he would enjoy his queen's embrace. She held him in gratitude- not because he was about to carry her to safety or protect her from danger. He pressed her head to his chest and allowed the corners of his mouth to turn up into a small smile of contentment.


End file.
